


You are my sunshine (my one and only sunshine)

by kwonstaar



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), svt
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 09:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18602101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonstaar/pseuds/kwonstaar
Summary: It's their second year anniversary.And Soonyoung's gonna propose to Jihoon today.





	You are my sunshine (my one and only sunshine)

It was a nice winter morning. Maybe a common day for some, but for Soonyoung, it’s not.

His extra energetic today, as if he has inhaled all the caffeine in the coffee shop he’s working.

“You’re in a good mood today.” Seungkwan slowly poured the coffee in the cup, carefully stirring it before placing it on the tray Soonyoung is holding. “Table number twelve.”

“Aye aye!” Soonyoung tipped his hat before going, he even twirled halfway which made the customers giggle.

He’s actually one of the reasons why the café is always filled with people. He never failed to make their day extra special.

Seungkwan just watched him as he did his work. He knew Soonyoung missed being at the café. He was on ‘break’ for months but luckily, he was able to come back.

“Care to share why you’re extra ‘happy’ today?” Seungkwan asked, before sipping on his orange juice. They love to take their breaks at the cafe's veranda. Really a good place to  get some fresh air.

Seungkwan patently waited for Soonyoung's answer, though he already know what Soonyoung's response would be.

Soonyoung chuckled before answering. “It’s because…” he took a deep breath. “I’ll be seeing Jihoon today. It’s our 2nd anniversary, Seungkwan.”

The excitement in his voice made Seungkwan nervous. “And I’m gonna propose to him today.”

“I see.” Seungkwan replied. There’s a long pause in their conversation.

"I really hope he accepts it." Soonyoung whispered.

They stayed there for a few more minutes. Soonyoung enjoying the view of the sky. It's clear and calm. What a perfect day to finally propose.

Seungkwan took a glance his watch and stood up. “Let’s go back inside. Customers are already starting to flock again.”

* * *

  
Soonyoung immediately changed his clothes as soon as his shift ended. He put on the shirt Jihoon gave him, a nice pair of pants, and sneakers.  
“Bye Seungkwan! See ya tomorrow!”

“Wait!” Seungkwan halted him before he can go. “Where are you going? I mean – where are you gonna propose to Jihoon?”

“At our favorite place.” Soonyoung replied. “I’m going to watch the sunset with him, Seungkwan.”

Seungkwan stared at him. He tried to construct sentences in his head but he failed. “Take care.”

“Yup. Thanks, Seungkwan.”

“Another thing.” Seungkwan bit his lips. “A-are you still taking your meds?”

There was a long pause between them.  
“Yes. Of course, Seungkwan.” Soonyoung smiled but he looked away. “I have to get better… for Jihoonie.”

Seungkwan replied with a nod though he’s still feeling a bit off. “Right. For Jihoon.”

“I have to go, Seungkwan. I bet he’s already waiting for me.” Soonyoung waved at his friend. “Bye!”

“Bye, hyung.”

* * *

  
“Jihoonie!” Sooyoung ran inside the house looking for Jihoon. It’s been years since they decided to live together. Both of them worked hard just to buy themselves a house. It may not be a huge mansion. But for them it feels home.

“Baby, where are you?” Soonyoung walked towards their bedroom and there he found Jihoon soundly asleep.

His heart almost melted from the sight of his lover. He slowly tiptoed his way to the bed, trying hard not to make any noise, afraid that it would wake Jihoon up.

Soonyoung lied beside him, arms slowly wrapping around Jihoon’s cold body. He pulled the blankets up before burying his face on Jihoon’s neck.

Soonyoung felt Jihoon squirmed a bit. He chuckled before placing a soft kiss on Jihoon’s cheek.

“Baby.” Soonyoung whispered. “Wake up. We’ll go watch the sunset together, remember?” he brushed the younger’s soft locks. The latter’s eyes still closed.

Soonyoung let Jihoon sleep for few more minutes before he finally wakes him up by showering kisses.

Jihoon scratched his eyes.  
“You’re awake now?” Soonyoung rubbed their noses together.

“Mm.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”

Soonyoung giggled and peppered Jihoon with kisses once more.

Jihoon slightly pushed Soonyoung away. “I’m awake now.” He smiled. “Where are we going?”

“To our favorite place, Jihoon.” Soonyoung walked away from the bed. “Get ready, I’ll wait for you outside.”

Soonyoung was busy looking outside the window, watching the children from the neighborhood play.

He admires them and wishes for him and Jihoon to have a family like that in the future.  
He constantly tells Jihoon that he wants to have a son and a daughter. Jihoon will just smile and nod at him.

Soonyoung got startled when Jihoon suddenly grabbed his waist, earning a giggle from the latter. “You scared me.”

“Did I?”

Soonyoung licked his lips, pulling Jihoon in front of him, the latter facing the window.

“I get it, Soonyoung. You wanna have a son and a daughter.”

“M-hmm.” Soonyoung placed his chin on the younger’s shoulder. He playfully stomped his feet. “The idea of having kids is making me excited, babe. Let’s go make babies already.”

“We’re both guys.” Jihoon laughed. He looked at Soonyoung’s reflection on the window and saw the latter pout.

“Then let’s adopt.”

“Fine.” Jihoon brushed Soonyoung’s cheeks. “And what would be their names, hon?”

“Sky and Sunshine.”

Soonyoung saw Jihoon’s lips curl up. “Those are beautiful names.”

Soonyoung leaned to kiss Jihoon on the lips. “So are you.” He whispered before kissing Jihoon again, but this time, deeper.

Both of them pulled away when they heard a beep form Soonyoung’s watch. “Let’s go now.” Soonyoung said as both of them are still trying to catch their breaths.

* * *

 

They reached their destination just in time for the sunset. Soonyoung parked the car few meters away from the cliff. Jihoon went out of the car first. Soonyoung took his time to prepare himself.

This is it. He’ll ask Jihoon to marry him.

Soonyoung nervously searched for the velvet box in his pockets and let out a sigh of relief when he found them.

He took one deep breath before finally going out of the car. His hands tightly clenched around the white velvet box he’s holding.

Jihoon was sitting on a huge boulder beside a tree. Soonyoung can’t help but smile when he saw Jihoon’s feet not touching the ground. His small baby.

Soonyoung watched the how the light of the sun reflects Jihoon’s pale skin. He’s literally glowing.

Breath-takingly beautiful.

Soonyoung can’t help but to question himself how on earth did he got this wonderful being. Winning Jihoon’s heart was quite a challenge, actually.

Soonyoung admired Jihoon ever since. The younger was a regular customer at the café. Sometimes, if he’s in a good mood, he’ll play the piano for the other customers to hear, and if luck allows to, he’ll sing a song or two.

He walked towards Jihoon and sat beside him. The latter rested his head on Soonyoung’s shoulder. Both of them quietly watched the sun as it slowly sets.

“You are my sunshine…” Jihoon started singing. “my only sunshine… You make me happy when skies are grey.”

Jihoon went down on the boulder he’s sitting on pulling Soonyoung with him. They walked near the edge of the cliff.

“You’ll never know, dear… how much I love you.” Jihoon continued. “Please don’t take, my sunshine away.”

They are standing a foot away from the cliff.

Soonyoung hugged Jihoon as if his whole life depends in it. “Happy anniversary, babe. I love you.”

He took out the white velvet box he’s keeping for years. Wishing his time, Jihoon would finally accept it.

He kneeled on one knee and held out the ring. Soonyoung reached for Jihoon’s hand. “Marry me.”

Jihoon cupped Soonyoung’s face and placed a soft kiss on Soonyoung’s forehead.

Soonyoung looked up and saw Jihoon staring at him. It is the same look he’s giving him for years now. The kind of look he hates to see.

“You know I love you, right? But Soonyoung…”

Jihoon took a small step back.  
“J-Jihoon, wait… Come here.”

Jihoon smiled, he’s nearing the edge of the cliff.

Just one little step and he'll fall.

“Babe…” Soonyoung grabbed Jihoon’s wrist and held it tightly. “Don’t leave me.”

“…you have to let me go.”

“N-no. No!”

Before he can even grab Jihoon back, Soonyoung suddenly felt a strong pull which made him fall on the ground.

He turned his head back and saw Seungkwan hugging him, crying.

Seungkwan pulled him far away from the edge of the cliff. The younger clenching his shirt tightly.

"Why are you doing here, Seungkwan?!" Soonyoung asked but he stood up before Seungkwan can answer. "Jihoon!"

Seungkwan stopped his before he can go to the edge of the cliff once again.

“When are you going to stop, hyung?!” he held Soonyoung's wrist very tight. The latter watched him sob.

Soonyoung's face was blank, as if he doesn't know what Seungkwan is talking about.

“You’ve been celebrating your 2nd anniversary with Jihoon for three years already!”

“No! T-that’s not true! It’s just our 2nd year together, Seungkwan… and I’m gonna propose to him today… and we’re gonna have babies… we’ll be happy together-”

Soonyoung  suddenly panicked. "The rings. Oh my god. Where are they?!"

He might have dropped it when he fell down.

Soonyoung desperately groped on the grass, searching for the pair of silver rings he bought for Jihoon.

He found one ring, but he cannot find the other one.

Soonyoung threw the soil out of frustration. "This is your fault Seungkwan! You shouldn't have pulled me."

Seungkwan shook his head. “Hyung…" he's almost begging. "Let him go. You’ve been doing this for three years now!"

Seungkwan raised his voice. He doesn't want to but Soonyoung needs to wake up from his fantasy.

"Three years ever since Jihoon died.” Seungkwan tried to stop his tears. "Aren't you tired?"

Soonyoung didn’t answer. The memories of the accident that happened years ago suddenly came playing inside his head.

It was their anniversary. Soonyoung was going to propose to Jihoon on this same day, at this same place while watching the sunset. But they encountered an accident.

An accident in which he failed to save Jihoon.

Tears strated to fall from Soonyoung’s eyes. His heart is filled with regrets. He hated himself for letting Jihoon die.

"You have to forgive yourself, hyung. I know you've been blaming yourself for what happened but you have to accept the fact that Jihoon is already gone and doing this won't make him come back."

Soonyoung fell quiet.

“You aren’t taking your meds, are you?”

“If I take them, I won’t see Jihoon ever again.”

* * *

 

“How are you feeling now, Mr. Kwon?”

“I feel fine, doctor.”

“Still hearing or seeing things?”

“No.”

“Have you talked to Jihoon again?”

“No. He already left.”

“May I know why?”

“He wanted me to let go.”

“And you did?”

“Yes.”

“But you love him right?”

“Yes.”

“Then why did you let him go?”

“Because I love him, doctor. I want to do things that would make him happy. If he wants me to let go, then I will. For him.”

Dr. Yoon stopped writing on his clipboard. He seemed satisfied with what he heard.

“You’ll be discharged tomorrow, Mr. Kwon. I already told the nurses to ready your things.”

“Thank you.” Soonyoung softly replied.

"No need to thank me. It was you who helped yourself."

"Can I go back to my room now?"

"Sure." Dr. Yoon gestured him to the door.

Soonyoung stood up and thanked the doctor one again before leaving.

"Ah! Wait Mr. Kwon." Dr. Yoon pulled out something from his pockets. The doctor place a small circular object on Soonyoung's palms.

"Keep that as a remembrance."

Soonyoung smiled and finally left the doctor's office.

* * *

 

Soonyoung entered his house. Nothing changes actually, it just that furnitures already filled with dust and it feels quite empty.

It's been a while since he last went here.

He surely missed his home.

He stood by the window where he always did. Kids are still playing, although he noticed that they grew up a little.

He thought of the dreams that he built with Jihoon.

Dreams that were now impossible to fulfill.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” Soonyoung whispered. “You make me happy, when skies are gray.”

Soonyoung saw a familiar reflection on the window, standing beside him. “You’ll never know, dear… how much I love you.”

It placed a soft kiss on his cheek.  
“Please don’t take…”

It smiled at him before disappearing.  
“…my sunshine away.”

 

 

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**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I posted something here! Wow.
> 
> Anyways, feel free to leave comments :)
> 
> -Y


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